Well dangit, I couldn’t even make it a week writing every day, oh well. Yesterday was just too busy. I suppose if I was worried about it I could stockpile a bunch of posts and have them scheduled to drop each day. I’m not though and that would somehow detract from the purpose of the writing I think. Whatever.
Happy Friday and Happy Birthday to me! I say that not in blatant self-promotion, reaching and grasping for public attention, but only to note that this is the day I was born 44 years ago and it makes me reflective. Do I feel 44? What’s that supposed to feel like? Is this where I thought I’d be when I made it this far? Did I ever really think about it? Do I remember what I thought about it?
I’m not having any existential crisis, just thinking about these (and other) questions. I should probably reflect more often but today seemed like a good day for it. I’m so thankful for my wonderful family that I’ll get to share this and all my days with. I love you guys SO much! I don’t get to *see* a lot of my friends very often but I feel like I have a good amount of them, which is nice.
What is about self-reflection that keeps us from doing it more often? Probably only speaking for myself but maybe there’s folks out there sharing my insecurities and thoughts on the subject. Perhaps it’s fear of seeing what we’d rather not see or admit? I honestly don’t think that’s why *I* don’t do it, I really don’t have a lot of demons and I’m pretty happy with my life as is. Maybe we are too busy, to caught up in the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life (that sounds like me!) to sit back and think of the past. That then begs the question, would be benefit from it? Would it hinder our progress? Make us sad, angry, discouraged?
I think living in the now and planning for the future is what works best for me. Hopefully mistakes I’ve made stick in memory easily enough that I don’t have to dwell on them for them to have taught me lessons on how to avoid repeating them. I feel like I’m barely halfway through my life and that actually makes me smile. I’m not famous or rich but I’ve done a fair amount of stuff in my life 🙂 Gained knowledge, shared it, made friends, loved, found the love of my life (hi babe!) and will raise our kids with her. Still an awful lot of stuff I *haven’t* done but I truly feel I’ll be doing most or all of it eventually and with my best friend, which is a nice bonus. It feels good to think about it.
Make it a great weekend. Happy Epiphany 😛