Workout Wonders

Okay, so I go to the gym on a semi-regular basis as I like the way it makes me feel and look. I used to be that guy who “checked in” on Facebook every time I went. Yeah, I know, I deserve your ridicule for that. Who was I trying to impress? I tried to rationalize it by saying it helped me keep track of the days I went and the days I skipped. Terrible excuse. If you do that, don’t, okay?

I’ve been going to the gym long enough to know who the regulars there are, the folks I see there every time I’m there. Does that make me a regular? Maybe, and I guess I hope so, I mean, I pay (probably too much) money to go there, so I should be going on a regular basis (I’ve already covered that, actually.) Anyway, I see guys there who really make me wonder and it always strikes me as funny. I try not to be a judgmental person but let’s face it, that’s tough to do.

There’s this one guy who always wears sleeveless shirts that are torn down the side, from the shoulder to the waist. Is there a name for those? Doesn’t really matter. He’s not the only guy who wears them. I see skinny guys and muscle-bound guys alike wearing them, but what’s noticeable about this one guy is that after almost every exercise he does, every station or his circuit or whatever, he checks himself out in the mirror. Flexing and the whole bit. Seriously? Who does that? Besides this guy, who *does* that?

Another guy I see every time I’m there is this tall, lanky guy who has his ear buds in but instead of having the cord tucked away in his iPod armband or his shirt or anywhere, he has the slack in his mouth. Yeah, that’s right, in his mouth. Picture a dog holding his leash waiting to go for a walk and that’s what this dude looks like. The whole time he’s there. I *think* he drops the cord from his mouth when he gets a drink but then it goes right back in. Again, who does that? Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird? Surely not.

The last guy I’ll mention is this very stereotypical body builder looking chap. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with body builders and I know this is a totally unfair description of them, but he’s got a SUPER close cut flat top haircut, is SUPER tan, like orange-colored, and he always wears shirts two sizes too small for him that seem to have no other purpose than to demean you, the reader of his shirt. It’s weird, they all seem to say stuff like, “I eat weaklings like you for breakfast,” or, “No, you can’t spot me, I’m benching more than you weigh,” or, “My feet hurt from kicking so much ass.” I keep expecting him to come in wearing a shirt that says:

Oh well. It’s probably me. People probably see me there on a regular basis and wonder, who is that chump who looks like he’s losing weight and getting fit? What’s up with that? Who DOES that at the gym? I’m probably doing it wrong.

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4 thoughts on “Workout Wonders

  1. It’s the same way here at the gym in the office. There is the group of Yoga girls who are pretty, perfect and can wear their yoga clothes in such a way nobody else wants to join the class because they make you feel like second class citizens.
    There are the tomboys that are always annoyed the women’s gym doesn’t have as heavy a weights as the guys gym so they make a big production out of how much weight they could be lifting. Then there are the rest of us who really want to use the new “private” women’s gym but don’t want to because they put huge glass doors and windows so we’re in a fishbowl and everyone coming in/out of the north entrance looks in to watch so we walk in silence through the back hallways of the warehouse.

  2. That shirt made me laugh out loud. Hilarious. I don’t go with enough regularity (either in frequency OR the time of day/night I go) to really get friendly with anyone…but I think anyone who goes to gyms knows “that” guy. The “I pick things up and put them down” guy. Ugh…what a tool. Half of me thinks they just go to stare at themselves while the other half is posing hoping women glance up, see them, and puddle up with desire. Just ewww…

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