How many of us can explain everything? I’m pretty smart, don’t mistake me, but sometimes even am stumped. Also, I’m not usually one to complain about things for the sake of complaining, but there are times when there just isn’t any other recourse. Some things simply do not make sense to me and I struggle to understand why they are on this Earth. I’m not talking about big, terrible, horrible things that kill people and make the world grieve. No, I’m talking about those little annoyances, the ones we all face from time to time, but maybe don’t even realize they’re there. Wake up, people!!! What, you think you have real problems to worry about? Let me remind you about:
Acne. Specifically, adult acne. I’m sure one of you smart-asses will jump all over this list with your vast medical knowledge and experience, but that’s great! If I understood them, would they really be so annoying?? Anyway, why do I, at nearly 40, need to get a fucking pimple on my nose, or my chin, or my hip, or my back, etc. etc. ad infinitum? I don’t have Prom pics to pose for, or a guest appearance on The Bachelorette to get ready for. Why are you trying to ruin my face, zit??
Blisters. Don’t be disgusting, I’m talking about the kind on your foot from ill-fitting shoes, or on your hands cause you forgot to put on gloves before taking the yard, though I suppose the kind you’re thinking of would fall into this category too. Is there a reason to have them other than to just piss me off, make me really uncomfortable, or just and mock me for not heeding everyone’s advice???
Mosquitos. No, seriously, WTF are those little blood suckers good for?? I don’t even have anything else to say about mosquitoes. I think their worthlessness is pretty obvious. If you try to tell me they’re useful in spreading certain diseases, I might hope that you get bitten by one carrying a virus. Don’t make be that guy.
While I’m certain there are other pointless, inexplicable things in the world (like THIS video, perhaps) I’m too irritated right now to think of them. Let’s just leave well enough alone and if you’d like to remind me of the other things please feel free to do so in the comments below.