He had to run if he wanted to make the 2 o’clock train. A torrential rain had turned the sidewalk into a treacherous obstacle course and his Italian leather loafers were drenched, soaked through to his socks. Risking a fall, he leaped up the stairs two at a time and into the station. The Bulova on his wrist read 1:59. A horn blasted through the vaulted ceilings and his train began to pull away.
As he burst into the station and sprinted toward the platform his legs were suddenly taken out from under him. Falling as if in slow motion, he caught a glimpse of his assistant’s balding head. The image was short-lived however, as his head slammed into the concrete floor and his consciousness went out like a light flipped off.
Waking proved to be less than pleasurable, not only due to the throbbing in his head but because he couldn’t feel his arms and legs. He couldn’t move. Regret for not leaving last night tried to infiltrate his cloudy mind, like gas seeping into the room? What’s that hissing sou…
When he woke again, his thoughts were a bit clearer, unfortunately the scene was no less horrifying. As he strained to raise his head enough to view his surroundings, he realized why he’d not been able to feel his arms and legs. The were gone! He was a torso with a head, connected by wires and cables to a variety of buzzing, clicking, and wheezing machines with blinking lights in horizontal rows. He’d never dreamed the Burrell family could be so ruthless. He remembered his wife and child, waiting for him in Sao Paolo. Were they still safe? Did they even know what had befallen him? Would they ever know? He was sure he would never see them again.
He didn’t have to wait long to discover his fate. Dr. Burrell entered just then wearing a silver, hooded, hazmat suit. As the Doctor approached the table he was releasing a greenish mist into the air around him from a hand-held spray bottle.
“I’m glad you could finally join us, Stephen,” Doctor Burrell said, his face a leering grin inside the suit. “We do hope you’re quite comfortable, though it wont matter much longer. You’ll be dead within the hour.” Dr. Burrell laughed maniacally and began adjusting dials on a nearby machine.
Stephen felt like his head was sinking into the table underneath him as the gas saturated his brain cells. His eyes suddenly watered and his focus wavered. Within a few more seconds he was blind! His last thought before he died was, strangely enough, not of his wife and child waiting for him in South America, but about the C4 explosives packed in the dental bridge in his lower left jaw, set to detonate once his brain waves ceased firing:
They’ll get a real bang out of th…
Very nice read there Blue. Good visuals and a good pace. You should consider submitting something for Flash Fiction over at Dude Write.
Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination
Thanks, Michael, means a lot. I’ll definitely consider it soon
Fun story, Sean. Ok, perhaps not “fun” for the protagonist, but as Michael said, well paced and an interesting premise. I enjoyed it.
Thanks, Scott!
This would make quite a neat flash fiction piece! Well done!
Thanks for the encouragement!
Very cool story.
Thanks for reading, and for the compliment!
Coming over from Dude Write and glad I did. This is a phenomenal read. You are very well written.
Wow, thank you!
Read this yesterday but my iPad didn’t like the comment section at all. Very well written, another one you should really consider continuing.
Thank you for the compliment 🙂
Awesome read Dude… I love this kind of off-kilter sci-fi weirdness… more of this please xD
Mesmerizing. Well done. The tension builds to the end. Great creep factor. I like the details of his shoes and watch to tell us a little about him.
Thanks, Steph! I almost always know my characters before I know what they’re doing. Stephen was probably almost as worried about his $40 socks getting wet as he was about missing his train!
Awesome story, I could totally visualize it! And I’m also glad that he got the last laugh, so to speak.
Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading and commenting YB
This was so descriptive. I’m going to agree with the others that said you should put something like this in the flash fiction. It caught my interest right away and held me to the end. Great job.
Thanks very much Ken, I’m definitely planning on more fiction, glad you enjoyed this one